Today is Suicide Prevention Day.

Last night my friends Jonathan and Rachel and I watched “Hook” with Robin Williams. It spurred some sad conversations of people we knew who had committed suicide or thought about it and why. It made us realize the impact that people have on even just one person and don’t even realize that. That’s why the ending of “It’s a Wonderful Life” is so strong. People say suicide is so selfish and people who take their own lives don’t care about the people they are hurting. And while I see this point of view, this is not something that is going on in people’s minds when they want to kill themselves.

I know. I wanted to. I just believed that no one loved me or wanted me or needed me. My mind was so fixated on the negative and awful things that I had been listening to for so long that I was physically and mentally unable to see that there were people, like my family, who really did care about me. But I wasn’t thinking about this. Because all I wanted was the pain to stop.

I have already described my journey to healing in the post “I Am Loved.” And please feel free to read that. It is by the grace of God, my friends and family, that I am alive now. I still have to fight the depression sometimes. But I now know that I don’t have to do it alone. And I can fight it. I beat it before; I can beat it again.

As my friends and I were talking yesterday, I realized that I wouldn’t have known Jonathan at all had I decided to kill myself Sophomore year. And that made me sad because Jonathan is a wonderful person. I have already said that I would never have had the experiences that I have had in the past twelve months either had I killed myself. However, each day, that feeling of “Wow, I’m alive” still hits me. Yes, I’ve had a pretty hard year in 2016, and it’s only slowly getting better, but it is still nothing compared to my struggles with depression.

I am currently in the midst of writing a screenplay about a girl who struggles with depression and tries to commit suicide. I hope to make it into an impactful short film. As I was researching it, I came across some stories of several famous people who have struggled with depression, including: J.K. Rowling, Carrie Fisher, and Stephen Fry. Obviously, there are those like Robin Williams who lost his battle and couldn’t fight it. The world hurts with the loss of him and his talents.

But here’s the thing: you have no idea the impact you have. You have no idea the impact you will have. If J.K. Rowling had killed herself, we would have no Harry Potter. She fought it. She got help. And writing Harry Potter helped to bring her out of the depression. Now, she has impacted thousands of children and young adults, many of whom are alive because of Harry Potter.

You have no idea the impact you have. Each one of you has made and will make a mark on this world. As The Doctor, in Doctor Who, points out: “900 years of time and space and I’ve never met anyone who isn’t important.”

I know there are some of you out there who don’t believe this, or who are incapable of believing this right now. But, I still want to let you know: You are important. And you are loved.

“The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive.” – J.K. Rowling
Don’t ever be ashamed. You’ve just reached the point in the sentence where you have to choose to continue or end. Don’t hit the period key. Choose the semi-colon. You have no idea where you are going in life. I ended up in Oxford, England mere months after wanting to end my life. Oxford was a dream of mine. I would have never gotten there.

“And I’d say, the world is full of wonderful things you haven’t seen yet. Don’t ever give up on the chance of seeing them.” – J.K. Rowling

So please don’t give up. You don’t have to fight it alone.