Recently, I watched all six seasons of Parks and Recreation during Christmas break. And then I finished the seventh season today. The last episode got me thinking about something that has been on my mind a lot recently: the future.

I’m a second semester Junior at Asbury University. I got back recently from a life changing four months of my life in Oxford, England. I’m thinking about all the stuff I have to do before I graduate; get a media internship, finish my classes well (taking 18 credit hours every single semester), go to a writing conference for practicum, not to mention having to say goodbye to some great friends as they graduate this May.

Adjusting back to school in the States has been very difficult. I just ended my first week back to school, and by the end of it, I was so emotionally drained and feeling so out of place that I just broke down and cried. It’s so strange because of course you think of culture shock as being something that happens when you look at things physically such as going to a grocery store and seeing different foods or driving on the other side of the road again, but in reality, culture shock is more of realizing the fact that life happened still when you were gone. Your friends made other friends. They had different experiences and did different things that you will never get to experience with them. And you did things that they will never get to experience with you. It’s like suddenly you are on different paths, and as Frodo says in the Lord of the Rings: ‘How do you pick up the threads of an old life?’ I have been on an adventure and now I need to acclimate back to a life I used to live. But I came back changed, and I am not sure what I am supposed to do.

I want to go back to England someday, but I know that is not where God wants me to be right now. I need to be here, but the trick is, trying to find out what I am supposed to do the next few years of major changes in my life. That’s where it gets scary, and all you want to do is curl up in a ball in your blanket fort and hope that life leaves you alone. Because the future is something that is big and unknown and there is so many paths that we can go down. Friends are leaving to go down their separate paths, and as Leslie Knope realizes with the parks department in Parks and Rec, we have no idea when we will see each other or be in the same group again. The idea of having to get a job that will be your life instead of school is so overwhelming, especially if you are like me and have so many options out there, you don’t even know where to start. Or maybe you don’t have the options and have a small window of where you can get a job, and you are hoping you can get in. Perhaps you are getting married or engaged and that scares you. Having to think about your life with another person and how that will change you is something that can be paralyzing, beautiful, and exciting.

In the last episode of Parks and Rec, the show takes you into the future of each of the characters, showing how they thought they knew the direction their life was going in the present and how it actually went in the future. There were so many different things that happened. It would be neat if we could see, in some sense, where we are headed, but really, would we want that? Half the fun of life is getting surprised. It’s like reading a great book or watching a great TV show and suddenly something happens you were not expecting (watch last night’s Downton Abbey, you will definitely be surprised), and you get so excited that it just blows your mind. Sometimes that something can be really sad, but you have to push through, and you become a better person because of it.

Only God knows the future. We can’t run our lives. He does. And He gives us the future he knows we can handle, with the right amount of challenges, surprises, and great opportunities. If I ran my life, it would be a mess. I’d have no idea what I was doing (heck, sometimes I still have no idea what I am doing, but at least God shows me at some point what he meant). It’s great having a guide and knowing we do not have to worry about the future. God takes care of us, our friends take care of us, and we need to take each day as it comes to us; learning, laughing, crying, and surprised by all the wonderful things life has in store. I will probably look back on this time and be really happy with the lessons I learned and how they got me where I am at that moment in the future. Because I know I’ll be where God wants me to be. And as Gandalf tells Frodo in the Lord of the Rings: ‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.’ And that means not worrying about the future, but taking each day and realizing the endless possibilities that are thrown our way.